In the future we'll all be gay
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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