I forgot how hot balto sounded
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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