Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just high enough for therapy.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
