I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
