its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
