she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
