Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I am naked and annoyed.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
