listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
if only i could text you this smell
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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