So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
soo... how was my night?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
