Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm just crazy horny about you
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize