if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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