More tranny stories later!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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