Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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