God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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