Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
