I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
