i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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