A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Sorry my hands just texted you
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
