Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
