You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
