We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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