Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
