I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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