The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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