no, he came in my armpit
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
