Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
