"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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