Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
