its not stalking. its research.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
