i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
