She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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