Pappa wants mamma naked
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
