Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
