we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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