OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize