Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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