btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
