It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize