have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
