im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
