38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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