My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
