if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
