respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
