The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize