dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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