I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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