i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize