I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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