Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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