google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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