pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
