My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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