evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize