feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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