He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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