did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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