Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
