I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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