You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
