it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
