if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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