uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
