as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
