She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
