I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
